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You see dirty dishes piled high, baskets full of laundry (some clean and some dirty- and you’re just hoping you can tell the difference), stinky kids who need baths, bills to be paid, and kids’ homework that hasn’t even been looked at yet.

He sees TV!

You see groceries you bought two days ago still sitting on the counter and a dog staring at you waiting to go for a walk. And don’t even talk about the dog poop you see in the backyard!

He sees TV!

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And you are left thinking things like this (although probably not this genteel):

  • “What is the matter with him?”
  • “Is he blind?”
  • “Can’t he see how busy I am?”
  • “Why doesn’t he get off that stupid couch and help out around here?”

You see a lazy good-for-nothing husband!

He sees TV!

As a wife of 40+ years, let me tell you a secret:

He doesn’t see it and he can’t read your mind!

I know this is hard to believe and accept.  It actually seems incredible. But it’s true!

The sooner you believe your husband doesn’t ‘see’ like you, the sooner you can start taking steps to make your marriage better. If you can’t accept this truth, your frustration and bitterness is only going to increase until you finally explode. And when you explode, your husband will be shocked and wonder where ‘that’ came from. And then he will be bitter against you. And thus it begins – the road of bitterness that leads to more distance, anger and emotional separation.

A couple of preliminary steps to take:

  1. First, take a good look at yourself. What do you see? Do you see frustration and anger? Do you see jealousy and bitterness? Do you see distance growing?
  2. Second, ask yourself what it is that you really want. Do you want help? Or perhaps there’s more to it than that. Perhaps you want to know that he really cares about you?

After you’ve answered these questions honestly, you will be ready to take the next steps toward a better more intimate marriage. And isn’t that what we all want?

(To be continued…)

Oh and by the way, it’s probably a very good thing that he can’t read your mind! Just sayin’!

 

 

 

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