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You want a great marriage – one that is loving, encouraging, consoling, affectionate and compassionate.  One that feels like you’re in it together.

A marriage like this doesn’t just happen.  You must be intentional about it.


Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.  Philippians 2:3

In this passage, Paul is writing to the Philippians about oneness in the church. The same principles in Philippians 2:3-4 can also bring oneness in your marriage. Here we go!

  • Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.
  • Regard your spouse as more important than yourself.
  • Look out for the interests of your spouse – not just your own.

Once self is off the throne, you are ready to ACT.

AAttitude of humility 

An attitude of humility is a choice – not a feeling. It does not grasp for equality. It is not self-serving.  Instead, it serves the other.

C-Courage to ask

Courage is required when you humbly ask for what you want.  The ask is about you – what you need or want.  It is not about your spouse and how they are falling short in some way. The ask is spoken with truth, love and kindness. It is not a demand or an expected behavior. The ask is honoring and respectful. The ask is vulnerable.

T-Trust God

Trust God with your ask.  The bigger the ask, the more trust is needed. Pray about your attitude.  Pray about your ask.  Pray about the results.  Trust God to work in you and through you and for you. I promise you He will in His time and in His way.

I love sharing my personal experiences with these marriage-changing principles when I speak to other women.  I tell them about the time I threw every shoe I owned at Dan.  Then I tell them how I learned to do marriage God’s way, instead of my own. God’s way is the best way.  It always is.